Old song to share: The Rain by Oran Juice Jones!
This song goes out to my 1980’s friend Kimberley H. (notice the “ley” and not “ly” – inside joke) – truly a special friend. Also, my step-daughter and I have a version of this song we used to sing in the 90’s.
FIVE WELLNESS ANALOGIES
5. Topics to NEVER talk about???
oubt-sters Doobsters wrote a cool post about the oxford comma where he started off by talking about how the topics of sex, religion, and politics can be sensitive (HERE). I did not get to post about it – but I think coffee and art make this sensitive list too – at least for some folks (um, me?)- And a mid-year highlight with this priorhouse blog came with the Culture Monk (a recent post of his is here). I do not agree with Kenneth about all things, especially art and coffee (!) – especially with differing views on Impressionism – but you know, he has such heart for ALL people and just want to note that here! ❤
oh – and speaking of sensitive topics – the show Shark Tank is also maybe a topic that should not be talked about – We were out to dinner with some friends and I said I liked Mark’s comments sometimes. (well I like all the sharks for different reasons, and I actually follow Lori on Twitter) – Anyhow, after I said I liked how Mark tells it like it is – this guy at dinner jumped on me a little bit -gave me the mean crusty look – and said he did not like Mark at all- and then it led to a heavy tone through the meal. By dessert things were mostly back to normal – but I was shaking my head because you just never know what will become a heated topic. Whatever you have on your list to “never” talk about – my real pet-peeve is when someone is drinking alcohol and they want to discuss one of these “sensitive” topics with someone who is not drinking alcohol – …no thank you – ~~~
4. ~Wanted a house with more land….
For our third house, we wanted a bunch of land, but we got what we could afford – and actually we stayed on the conservative side just in case. That has paid off in many ways – and here it is – years later – and so when I was laughing with some neighbors, after a decade of living beside them, I realized that God did not give us “all the land” we wanted because we needed to be bonding with our neighbors. I would have preferred acres of privacy, you know with a soccer field of our own – but God seemed to say, “Take this snippet of land, make it as private as you can, and while you are at it – love (enjoy) your fellow man.” Our neighbors Chris and Aretha are like family – they feel like Aunts to my boys. Then enjoying Debbie – and Gary’s jamming beat, then having gardeners on both sides – makes life more complete! With Carroll & Joan and then Celeste/Joe – not forgetting the cul-de-sac folks like Chase and Donald too. So remember – sometimes God leads us by “circumstance” – at least over here He does. We think we know what we need – many times we are right, but God always knows what we need more – and He has good things in store – so don’t be moved my what you see outwardly – sometimes there are bigger things going on – and years later you will see more. ~~~
3. Garden analogy for parenting.
I have a few different Viburnum bushes out back – from the “proven winners” collection. I decided to let them grow free – you know, so they could be natural and do their thing. But you see – they split down the middle. And some got pests because their branches were too close. And because they did not have a gardener’s touch – they each had different problems – one overgrew and become too heavy – and when the rain came it made branches split – and the one that needed thinning had small probs. – These shrubs needed ME to be “up and in there checking on things.”
Kids are the same way – they need a parent’s touch. They need us in their life – they NEED us to “be on up there and in their business” – with balance of course – and not necessarily over doing anything – because helicopter parenting and over micro-managing leads to other problems – like if I kept cutting my plants back too much it would not be good – and if I kept over fiddling with their leaves, I would break down protective oils that help keep balance! Kids are like this too – if we snip their wings too much they can’t live and learn – but they cannot be set free too early – because they are still learning about so much. Also, studies have shown that when kids are left to “unfold like a flower” and when they get to “only” do their thing – well many times they “flounder more” as adults – it’s true. And while Authoritarian parenting (also called strict parenting) is worse than too permissive of a style – there is another style of parenting that is more propagative parenting – and it is called “authoritative parenting” which is like a democratic “child centered” approach. NOT to be confused with the over indulgent style – which is nothing to go into now…. But we need to find balance and get that “democratic style” that meets the needs of our unique and changing child. Just like my shrubs all have different needs – kids do even moreso – Oh, and you do not have to perfect – just keep it real, respect them. and love them. And it helps to remind them that our interaction and boundaries are for their long -term good – try it – you’ll see…. and Joyce Meyer once said that when her son was complaining about something she did as a parent = she reminded him that she was not perfect = while also reminding him that she was way better than her parents were at parenting – and then she told her son that the good news was that he had the chance to become an even better parent than her – and I liked that because it is a great example of breaking any cycles and just improving through the generations. It is also an example of that democratic style that allows discussion and shared assessment – which is so important! ~~~
2. Relentless I was dealing with an affliction.
I had a stubborn “skin” affliction – it took detective work to address – 😦
Exhausted one day (while dealing with it) I said “****…. this is relentless.” Because it was so tough and persistent…” I only said it kind of “matter of factly” because it was a good coping day as I was putting on the essential oils. And when I was shaking my head at how the healing was taking time and again I quietly said, “This is soooo relentless” – well then someone said “And so are you! – you are tough – you can be relentless in getting well…” And those words fueled me. I thanked the person a few times – because I CAN persevere, and it just helped to be reminded of it. Well later on I realized that THIS is why we need to get in the HABIT of giving “words that build up” others. We do not wait until they are overtly needed – instead – we just become mindful of knowing that a nice comment can make a difference – and I was reminded that I was stronger from hearing some simple words – so are you – so are you…. and they played over in my head and added to hope and fed my resiliency.
We all have a tough and relentless side – but it needs to be fed you see – and one way we feed resiliency is with edifying words – because it trickles into our thinking – and then our attitudes!
So wherever you are and whatever you are going through – you may not feel all that tough at times – and you may have weak days – or who knows what – but dig deep – get tough – you CAN do it – you can overcome. Don’t quit.
1. My washer & dryer analogy for landing the right mate.
Okay – so we splurged on some high end front loaders. It was nice to have to wait for them because it made me appreciate the set more. This upscale set with the cool metallic dark gray – had those huge steel doors that glistened and looked so good each day. But then you see, as an art teacher – I could not fill the washer and let paint towels soak the way my former washer allowed. This new, high end machine did not allow the fill and soak – it had pseudo soak options – and steam, sanitize, etc. – but nothing like the set that really matched my everyday needs. And for picking a partner – well be very careful before you get wooed by a bank account or by external looks – because those things may not be what you need for everyday living. So often – people pick a mate for surface things – or fancy externals – when it all comes down to “what” YOU really need. Now externals matter and your partner should be attractive in your eyes – and other things matter too -because we all have different preference,s baggage, and aims in life.
But for me, I realized I did not need the steam and sanitize feature as much as I needed the practicality of a large soaking machine with different agitation options to remove paint from art towels.
Life partners are similar because the match for “us” needs to align with a lifestyle and with our gift mix – there is a match that is more right for you – so be careful before you look at what you “think” you need – or what you think you want – it might not always be what really satisfies. And with my husband, it always makes me shake my head to remember that some of the things his ex “did not like” about him – are things I wanted in a guy – just funny to see how the match could be so wrong there and so right here. So be patient and go for chemistry….